Butterfly Wings: Rule 11 to Control Your Appetite

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Are you worthy of having a different life?

Do you feel you have the power to overcome the obstacles to permanent weight control.

Do you feel competent to make the right lifestyle changes?

Are you likable and worthy of the change?

Start by believing you are worthy of having a different life, a better life. Not just that you want it, but that you deserve it.

Now...
I want to tell you a story. Afterwards, I would like you to share your thoughts with us about it.

This is the story of one woman's struggle to change, to lose weight, and handle the unexpected effects it has on her family.

*****

Rebekah was fat. At least that‘s how she saw herself in the mirror every morning as she prepared to shower in the pre-dawn light. Her friends always said she looked great, but, as she squeezed the water off her long hair, she knew they were just being kind. Hadn’t she also told those same white lies to support a friend?

Rebekah turned 43 last Sunday. The Friday before, she used the last day of her 90-day fitness club membership. She won it at the law office where she worked as a paralegal. The coincidence of these two events started her thinking.

Rebekah’s oldest, Tom, 16, has his father’s infectious smile. He is trying to get onto the high school football team. Cassi, 13 going on 19, is more of a handful everyday. (Wow, was she that tuned-in at 13?) Then there is Franklin. The surprise child of 5, and as sweet as they come, he is every bit a daddy’s boy. Daddy was off in Baton Rouge for one more day.

Driving the long rainy commute into Memphis that morning, Rebekah became reflective. They lived in the county because it would be better for the kids. But it meant a lot of driving time with precious few moments left for herself. As she turned onto the freeway she began to think about her weight again, and how she’d lost 14 pounds the last 3 months. She was proud of that. But it had taken its toll in other ways.

She had one of those tense conversations with Luke the morning he left for Baton Rouge. He was concerned about her staying longer in the city 3 nights a week to go to the club. Then there was the extra cost of the “new” food she was buying for herself, because he and the kids preferred the “old” food. Plus, she was spending a lot of time reading after the kids went to bed. She didn’t use to do that. It all added up to less time with the family and more money. As she dropped him off at the airport she told Luke she was considering buying a one year membership to the club. With a quick flash he said they would have to “discuss it all” when he returned.

On the drive home in traffic that evening, Rebekah began formulating a letter to Luke. She needed to write it down. He was so strong and impatient when they talked about difficult things. So, in their 18 years together she had learned it would come out better if she wrote it down first.

Late that night, after the kids were in their rooms, she propped herself up in bed and thought. Then she began to write on her laptop...

*****

My Dearest Husband, I love you and the kids so very much. Everything I ever wanted I am experiencing now with you, and them. I love taking care of you. Each of you is so special, and so different. But, somewhere along the road I lost sight of me. I’m not sure where I went, but I got lost. I have been so busy for so many years doing so much for my family, I’m not sure who I am any more. And I need to know that.

When I started losing weight, I began to see just a little glimmer of me. It was part who I was when we were young together, and who I am now. I began to wonder who I would become in the next few years. And it made me think about you, and how I relate to you, and what it is you still see in me.

When we parted at the airport, I saw this pain and boyish fear in your eyes. Plus a bit of hidden anger. I know that you have been concerned about our money issues. And my time away from the family. Plus, my late night reading. But, for the first time, really, I have needed to concentrate on me.

I feel like a caterpillar about to unfold from a cocoon after a long winter. I don’t yet know what kind of butterfly I will be, but I know I will be one. I can’t wait to find out. I know I will be beautiful.

But, looking into your eyes that morning, I sensed you were threatened by my changes… and whatever future changes may be in store.

Then I thought, does my way of being with you give you what you need? If it doesn’t, I’ll have to reevaluate how I relate to you – what I thought I meant to you. And that is where I get stuck.

My dilemma is that by discovering and choosing what is right for me may look like a threat to you. And I don’t want to threaten you.

There is the possibility that, in changing, I may not value you in the same way, that I may not need you as much. The very effort I use to change my life requires me to feel my own needs more strongly, to give them greater weight and priority. In doing this I may end-up lessening my dependence on you, as I am becoming more dependent upon myself. This doesn’t mean that I care less about you, or the kids, only that I care more about myself.

Does caring more about myself have to mean I care less about you? Do I need to think that it does? Do you have to feel that it does?

Is there some way for me to change lifestyles such that both of us see it as a positive challenge to create a deeper relationship, instead of a negative threat to whatever kind of relationship we have now?

Must I deny my need to find a greater affinity with myself, so that I have to relate to you with a former, paler version of me? A version that is less me, but more acceptable to you? If it is the old, less me you want me to be, where does that leave the full, unfolding me?

Do I have to choose between finding, discovering, experiencing a more real, meaningful me, and a peaceful existence with you?

And if the person you experience is not fully, really me, then who or what is it that you truly love?

I really love you. I faminously need your love. But I need me too. I need to invest time, a little money, some late-night reading, and a lot of unconditional conversation to discover what type of butterfly I am. Maybe I’m no type at all… maybe I’m my own original type.

Can we both find ways to have patience while I discard my cocoon and unfold my radiant new butterfly wings?

I love you.

Rebekah

Rebekah finished the letter, then read it all over again. Tears flowed unexpectedly. She had never been able to clearly articulate this before. Seeing it on paper, all at once… her deep breath pushed out the tears.

Would Luke understand? Would he be hurt? Couldn’t she just hold it inside and find a better way — a safer way to handle it? Maybe she shouldn’t give the letter to him.

She folded it up and put it on the nightstand. She would sleep on it. She would decide whether to give it to him in the morning, before she left to pick him up at the airport.

With that, she turned out the lights and closed her still-moist eyes.

*****

What do you think Rebekah should do? Should she give the letter to Luke?

If you were her very close friend, and after she shared the letter with you, she asked your most honest advice, what would you say to her?

Please share your thoughts with us.

How do you control your appetite?
Conclusion 11: Unfold Your Butterfly Wings

Next article:
How do you control your appetite?
Rule 12: Lower Your Expectations

CelebrateLifeNutrition.com – Satisfy Your Hunger
©2009 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.

Be Worthy of It: Rule 10 to Control Your Appetite

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For you to permanently control your appetite, to be able to lose weight and keep it off, begin with an inner journey. That journey is to prepare yourself for the challenges of changing your lifestyle.

You already know that losing weight is not just a dietary problem. But why do you keep getting stuck? Why do so many of your efforts backfire, when they seem to work for others (at least they do in the ads)? What keeps happening that makes your weight loss efforts so difficult?

Here are some things you might want to think about.

1. Do you feel you have the POWER to handle life’s personal difficulties — to overcome the obstacles to permanent weight loss — to change what you are doing that led you to this place?

If you already feel powerless to change important things in your personal life, things you ardently feel need to be changed, you are drained of the energy, the confidence, the initiative to take the steps to make new weight loss efforts.

Even if you feel confident in some areas of your life, it is often difficult to have that confidence when it comes to your own self. So, here is a question: Aren't there things you would absolutely do to protect your kids? Let nothing stand in your way? But when it comes to doing things for yourself, deeply personal things, do you sometimes falter?

Start by believing you are worthy of having a different life, a better life. Not just that you want it, but that you deserve it. Beginning there, gather the power, the fierce strength you use to protect your children, to change yourself. And insist that others let you make that happen. That is the level of energy you must muster for yourself.

If you have spent a lifetime doing things for others, sacrificing your personal desires and needs year after year for your family, this may be very unfamiliar territory. It is difficult to turn all that energy you have focused on others for so long, and tell yourself you deserve to have it now focused on yourself.

But you must. Once you do, reach deep inside yourself and find the power to make it happen. That power is there. It always has been. It is what has made so much meaningful for your family and closest friends. You have the power. Use it for yourself.

2. Do you feel COMPETENT enough to make the right lifestyle changes, the right way, at the right time — do you believe you have the ability to do better and really make it happen?

If you've tried to lose weight several times before, and in the end you gained it all back each time (plus some), it is easy to lose confidence in your ability to discriminate in selecting what to do.

It is easy getting lost in the plethora of advice, and the constant stream of new and contradictory information in the media – TV, magazines, newspaper. Plus there is all that stuff you learned from mom, with friends and family eager to offer their opinions.

Sometimes, it just seems that you are swimming in so much information that its difficult to keep up. Let alone do anything different that is meaningful.

Then there are those nagging doubts... is this the right thing? Is this really going to make a difference? How do you know? How can you sort it all out?

Plus the biggest challenge of them all – when do you get the time, the alone, quiet time, to think it all out?

So, even when you get into change mode, you can lack confidence in your competence to do something effective.

3. Are you LIKABLE and WORTHY of this change? If you are not likable, if you are not worthy of this change in your lifestyle, you can never be happy. Why?

Happiness is founded on acceptance of yourself — you need self-acceptance to be happy. So, if you’re not going to be happy anyway, because you are not likable or worthy of it, what’s the point of making positive lifestyle changes designed to make you happy?

Your lifestyle changes may be well and good, but if you are still not likable or worthy, what’s the point of the effort, the inevitable pain, your changes will cause?

Besides, if you’re not worthy of it, you probably don’t deserve success, or happiness, or fulfillment – or to weigh less permanently — you don’t deserve the things you really want.

These three things significantly affect:
–Your ability to identify what you really want to do, that would truly make you happy.
–Your belief about whether or not you can change things, or can change them in a positive way, and
–Your motivation in making changes — is it going to be worth it?


If you are going to change your lifestyle, if you are really going to weigh less permanently, you have to look past the "diet" you are considering. You have to do some interior work – go on an inner journey. You have to decide, ultimately, if you are worth it.

Once you get that far, you will find a way to make it happen.

How do you control your appetite?
Conclusion 10: Be worthy of It

Next Article...
How do you control your appetite?
Rule 11: Unfold Your Butterfly Wings

You are not going to want to miss this article. It is the story of one woman's struggle to change, lose weight, and handle the unexpected effects it has on her family.

CelebrateLifeNutrition.com – Satisfy Your Hunger
©2009 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.

Quiet the Ghost in Your Genes: Rule 8 to Control Your Appetite

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Well, if you can't blame your mom directly for your surging appetite, how about blaming your dad AND mom for your genes? That's a satisfying answer, because it doesn't blame anyone personally. Your parents are no more responsible for their own genes than the ones they passed on to you.

So, let's start there. Let's accept the fact that, if you are overweight by more than a few pounds it's probably the fault of your genes. That done, what do you want to do now? Stay overweight? Get fat?

You have a perfectly good excuse. Lean on it. Use it for all its worth. When you reach for that extra serving of mashed potatoes, say out loud, "Mom and Dad, this spud's for you!" There, you have peace in your war with food.

That having been said, were you looking for an excuse?

Or a solution?

Before we talk about potential solutions, let's take a closer look at your genes. Because, as it turns out, your fat-building genes are actually great genes. In fact, if it weren't for them you wouldn't be here.


Somewhere, far back in your ancestry, was a woman who got pregnant in the late Summer or Fall. She was genetically able to accumulate fat during the "abundant food" time of Summer and Fall. During the "starvation" time of Winter and early Spring, she was able to supplement her diet (for both herself and her unborn child) from her fat reserves.

Fat in the Winter. Thin in the Spring. Your grand-forebearers had exactly the right "fat building" genes to bring their healthy babies into this world. And you are the recipient, the direct descendant of that happy "fat building" gene.

Women who could not build fat reserves during the "abundant" time, were not as fortunate in bringing their babies to full term. In short, most Skinny-in-the-Fall women didn't pass on their skinny genes. Fat-in-the-Fall women passed on their genes more prolifically. Today, this accounts for about 80% of us. You are fortunate to be alive today because of Fat-in-the-Fall women, successive generations of them. If you're overweight in every season, chances are, you too are a Fat-in-the-Fall woman, too. Or man.

Your family survived because of fat. So, say: "Thank you mom, thank you grandma, thank you great grandma. The noisy ghost in your genes, that you bequeathed to me, made me what I am today. Alive. Just fatter than I should be."

So, how do you quiet these ghosts in your genes?

The same way your great-great-grandmother did. She feasted in the Fall. And starved in the Winter. Feast. Famine. That's the key. Eat heartily all Summer long, gorge at Thanksgiving, then eat a pittance, (barely at all) in the Winter. It really is that easy. That's what your great grandma did. Are you up for that?

If not, if living off the "fat of the land" is not your style – which involves you willingly getting fat during swimsuit season, then stop eating and getting skinny during the "put-on-a-coat-fasting-season" (I'm not talking about a Winter diet here, I'm talking about not eating at all). Are you ready for that?

If not, what can you do? In a way, all you have to do is the reverse what your great grandmother did. What she did, you should NOT do. She awakened the fat-ghost hidden in her genes, making it an active part of her dietary life in the Fall. And she put it back to sleep in the Winter.

So what should you do?

Here are two ghost quieting lessons for you.

Lesson 1: Don't eat starchy foods (potato, rice, pasta, refined grains, etc.) with protein foods (meat, fish, plus fatty foods, etc.) in the same meal.

What? What can that possibly do for your appetite? Well, as it turns out, quite a lot.

When great grandma, (and you) ate these foods together, they doubled their fat formation from that meal. Doubled it. Unbelievable, but absolutely true. Plus, it made her much hungrier at her next meal, so she would repeat the fat-building step.

Think of Thanksgiving. Lots of starchy foods (mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie), and lots of meat (turkey, ham, roast beef anyone?). For great grandma, this led to the generous formation of fat that allowed grandma to be born healthy. For you, it compels you to decide between Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig.

Every culture has a tradition akin to ours, of a Fall harvest celebration, with ripe-for-the-picking starchy foods, and abundant meat – a celebration that usually lasted for days, not just one meal. Your old progenitors may not have known it, but it is what got them through the Winter, starvation season.

The lesson for you? Don't eat starchy foods with protein or fatty foods in the same meal. When eaten together they make you gain fat. They jump-start your hunger and appetite. Repeat.

Chances are, combining starchy foods and protein foods in the same meal is the reverse of what you do now. Because you have been taught to serve a "balanced" meal, do you make a point of having a starchy vegetable with your meals (hamburger and a bun, meat and potatoes, fish and rice, pasta and sausage, spaghetti and meatballs)? Those kinds of "balanced" meals are adding pounds. Do that multiple times a week, and you have a weight problem.

How do you undo the weight gain? Run great-grandma's methods in reverse: Don't eat starchy foods with protein or fatty foods in the same meal. Simple, but effective.

Lesson 2: Eat lots of raw fruit, but eat it alone.

(No, I don't mean skulking off into a corner to hide while you eat a banana.)

You see, when your great-grandma started eating the first fruits of Spring and Summer, and coupled it with eating anything else available, she was able to quickly rebuild her depleted fat stores, after a long Winter of sparse eating. That's how she successfully breast-fed grandma after she was born.

The lesson for you? Eat fruit abundantly, but always by itself.

Practicing these two lessons can go a long way toward quieting the ghost in your genes – the noisy ghost that makes you fatter than you should be. Unless you plan to get fatter, or go on a 120 day fast at the end of Summer, quit eating like great-grandma. While it made her thrive, it's killing you.

How do you control your appetite?
Conclusion 8: Quiet the Ghost in Your Genes


Next article...
How do you control your appetite?
Rule 9: Make a Decision

CelebrateLifeNutrition.com – Satisfy Your Hunger
©2009 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.

Making Love is the Antidote: Rule 6 to Control Your Appetite

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A few years ago, Geneen Roth wrote a book about "Empty Heart, Empty Stomach" or something like that.

It really is true. We eat emotionally. Then use rationality to justify it.

We eat because we feel unsatisfied with so much in our life. We can't blame it on bad sex, because...well, you know the reasons we can't blame it on that.

Unsatisfied, sometimes fearful, sometimes vaguely discontented, we search for comfort. Food, especially the kind that is fattening and sugary, makes us feel comforted. At least until the first serving is gone.

But we can't tell anyone about our dissatisfaction, can we? "I am Woman", as Helen Reddy sang:

I am woman hear me roar
in numbers too big to ignore
I know too much to go
back and pretend,
cause I've heard it all before

So, you see, if we are going to be roaring, we can't be complaining. So, we eat the second serving.

Life can hurt sometimes. Disappointment can run deep. Third helpings on the way? But joy can run deep also. Deeper.

Love can hurt. But love also heals. Enlightens.

Making love creates anew a sense of fulfillment. A deepened sense of self. Satisfaction.

But in our daily lives we forget about making love. We go on a love-making diet. We become love-famished. We run on love-reserve. Run on love-empty. We are love-anorexic. So we become food indulgent. Almost food gluttonous at times. It's not because we love food more. It's because we feel less love.

Make love more. Eat less.

How Do You Control Your Appetite?
Conclusion 6: Making Love is the Antidote

Next to come...
How do you control your appetite?
Rule 7: Blame It on Mom

CelebrateLifeNutrition.com – Satisfy Your Hunger
©2009 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.

Eat A Variety of Nutritious Foods: Rule 3 to Control Your Appetite

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How do you control your appetite and cut your cravings?
Rule 3: Eat a lot of different, highly nutritious foods

Remember your strong cravings?

It is one thing to get rid of your hunger. But, if you are like a lot of people, the real culprit in your weight gain is your cravings. Do you sometimes get confused between being really hungry and craving snacks?

Do you sometimes feel cravings for "something" even if you're not sure what you are craving?

Do you ever wonder if you're getting all the nutrients your body really needs?

Do you realize your cravings, and your body's need for more nutrients are all part of the same problem?

We all know we probably eat too much… too many calories… too much fat… too much cholesterol.

Yet, we eat from far too few foods. So, while we are overeating we are starving our bodies of vital nutrients that only more food variety can provide.

Your body is designed to require a lot of nutrients you are not getting in your regular diet. It knows when it needs those missing nutrients.

When your body is hungry for nutrients, and it is not getting them, your body tells you in the only language it knows:

• Your body says, "Eat more food – perhaps I'll get what I need from your next meal."

• Your body says, "Crave this food – perhaps I'll get the specific nutrient I really need right away."

• Your body says, "Eat now – even if you're full, because I'm not getting what I need."

Persistent cravings are your body talking to you. It is insisting that you feed it a much wider range of nutrients. When you succumb to your body's insistent demand for more nutrition by eating the wrong foods, you consume more calories than you really need. And you gain weight. Worse, you are still under-nourished. So the craving problem keeps repeating.

Celebrate Chocolate contains the power of concentrated, natural plant nutrients from 59 whole foods. One bite. 59 concentrated foods. Day by day, your cravings fade away.

With Celebrate Chocolate™, your body is fed. It quits saying, “Eat more.” It quits insisting, “Eat now.”

No more confusion. You know when you are hungry. You can’t remember the last time you had cravings.

Less cravings. Less snacks. Less weight.

How do you control your appetite and cut your cravings?
Conclusion 3: Eat a lot of different, highly nutritious foods

Next to come...
How do your control your appetite?
Rule 4: Eat Small Meals, and Eat More Frequently

CelebrateLifeNutrition.com – Satisfy Your Hunger
©2009 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.

Eat Less: Rule 1 to Control Your Appetite

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If you desire less weight, then eating less has to be your goal.

All the science and advice, special diet strategies and weight loss programs, take dead aim at having you eat less. They just have different ways to get you to do that. Most fail.


So, if you are already surrounded with that key "eat less" information, why don't you do it? Why can't you control your appetite. Why are you frequently giving in to your cravings?

It's not that you lack self control. You are a responsible adult – of course you have self control. So, why can't you control your appetite?

Because what you are already eating compels you to eat more. And what you are not eating creates strong cravings.

Your diet, especially restricted calorie diets like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and NutriSystem, all set you up for failure, even if some give you short term results. Long term, after being on a diet, you not only regain your lost weight, if you are like most people you add an additional 10 pounds within a year.

Controlling your appetite is where successful weight loss begins. Cutting your cravings is how you keep in control of your life.

So, how do you control your appetite and cut your cravings?
Rule 1: Eat BEFORE you are hungry
Rule 1A: Always follow Rule 1

Once you are hungry you will do two things, and you won’t be able to stop yourself. First, you’ll eat more – probably about 300 calories more. Second, you’ll store those extra calories as fat. (Of course there is science that amply prove that, but we are just giving you the shorthand version here).


Why can’t you stop yourself from overeating in a meal you started when you were already hungry? Basically, real hunger is your body telling you your blood sugar is too low. And since your brain needs a constant supply of blood sugar, it puts an enzyme in your blood that COMPELS YOU TO EAT MORE, AND DO IT NOW (I don’t want to pass out, dummy)!

At that point, forget your will power. Your body is on remote control. YOU WILL EAT NOW. YOU WILL EAT FAST. YOU WILL OVER EAT. AND YOU WILL STORE THOSE EXTRA CALORIES AS FAT.

How do you control your appetite and cut your cravings?
Conclusion 1: Eat BEFORE you get hungry

Next to come...
How do you control your appetite?
Rule 2: Don't Eat Appetizers

CelebrateLifeNutrition.com – Satisfy Your Hunger
©2009 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.

Cut Your Appetite – Control Your Weight with Whole Foods Nutrition

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Cut Your Appetite – Control Your Weight with Whole Foods Nutrition

It is unfashionable today to talk about weight control in personal circles. A whole new generation has been born since the weight loss industry was addressed as a socially acceptable, openly talked about topic.

The few companies that still sell weight control approach it from the old discredited method of capsules and pills, or counting calories or fat grams, or weighing food or making exchanges… it’s all so exhausting to figure it all out and remember. Read the entire article >

At best, they don't work, or don’t work for long. Worse, some actually cause real harm – remember chromium picolinate, or ephedra. Or the high protein diet? How about the Fresca and Bacon Diet? Did you try the 90 day grapefruit and grape nuts diet?

In every case, people who use these programs, whatever their initial weight loss success, always ended up months later weighing more than when they started. Where is the integrity in selling that approach?

What happens to their customers' need for a longer, healthier life? There has to be a better way.

There is a better way. It's called whole food nutrition. That doesn't come in a capsule or pill. It comes from eating what's right for your body instead of what's compelled by your hunger.

Strong hunger and cravings are your body's way of telling you it really needs something that's missing. And it needs it now.

When you are fully nourished those persistent hungers and cravings go away. So, too, do those extra pounds.

When you are fully nourished, when your nutrition is complete, you literally eat your way to less weight.

Natural weight control from Celebrate comes from responding to your body's insistent need for live, whole foods. Natural weight control comes by honoring your body's design, feeding it all that it needs. It happens by celebrating life in every bite.

Discover the Secret: Satisfy Your Hunger

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Healthy chocolate truffles... ummm. They take you on top of cloud nine. You don't have to look far to find the quality nutrition for your daily diet. I've discovered this product and tried it. Absolutely love it.

To bathe your body from the inside with the nutrients it needs for smoother skin, silkier hair, and stronger nails, Celebrate adds lush avocado, tropical macadamia, and omega-rich hemp nut oils.

I have also noticed that I don't feed my cravings with other junk food. Just a couple of these beautiful, healthy truffles a day make a huge difference in my eating behavior during the rest of the day.